Well. I do. I really really want to find that something.
-~*~-
I was talking to Timmy and Jessica today about why I felt so empty inside... I know I am definitely not being a bum, but I still feel like I get nothing accomplished every day. This isn't like high school anymore. Senior was amazing (at least before I stopped caring); there was so much I cared about, so much I wanted to do. Now, all of that has just narrowed down to academics and a somewhat existent social life. My friends are amazing and I really love them. But, I feel like something in my daily activities is missing. Where is the passion?? Where did all my emotions go?? If you just compare my recent entries to those in August 2008, it's obvious that something has changed. Sometimes I just feel like a robot, and nothing I do is meaningful...
Freshman year in college, this experience is so different from freshman year in high school. I think it's because we never knew in 9th grade what it is like to do something we love so much. And now we do, and we know that we are not doing it. So, we feel like something huge is missing in our lives.
How do you put meaning back into your life when everything has changed?
2 comments:
That's because the cause and effect and the standard for college is more ambiguous compared to ones in high school. All A isn't something you have to get in college anymore. In high school, you worked your butt off to get all A cause that was sort of what was expected. at least for some people. but that's not true in college. getting all A is way harder. But I don't think there's anything you have to worry about. you're only taking intro classes right now. You don't do anything interesting in those classes. but once you start taking harder courses, and taking classes specific for your major, you'll start to find classes more interesting and you'll want to work hard to learn the material. you don't need to have concrete meaning to what you are doing right now. it'll follow eventually. Once you start taking harder courses, you'll begin to see why those classes are so important for your career, and that'll make you want to work hard to learn it. In my CS class, we recently learned about an algorithm that google came up with and is still used by google called MapReduce, and we also learned about simple version of their algorithm in calculating pagerank. I hate that class cause it takes too much time away from me, but learning those things are pretty fun. Cause you finally get to see how the material you are learning is used in real life. we actually had to code our simple version of MapReduce using google's algorithm. So don't worry too much now; just wait and you'll start to see meanings.
OR... maybe because you're taking Chem which is a fake science. If that's the case, take Physics.
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