Multiple Trials

Today I had my Chemistry lab final. As some of you know, this is a class that I have honestly been struggling in---not because the experiments are difficult or confusing, but because even if you understand what you are doing, things may not go right. I suppose this is a metaphor, in some ways, for life. It's strange how in high school and college, you control the world in your hands. I always hear things like "Never take no for an answer--especially not in academics" or "Get it, girl!" (haha), and I feel empowered to go out and take on the world. But in Chemistry lab, things just don't go that way. Sometimes, your data messes up or the calorimeter gets all funky... or the TA has to grade in a mean way according to the professor's orders and you get penalized all over the place for the same mistake.

I don't know anymore if I am just making up excuses or if this is the reality of lab. I feel like it is kind of both. Getting over these obstacles takes patience and determination. But somehow, I feel like no matter how diligent I work, things always go wry in the lab. It's hard to just... suck it up and keep moving, especially when your GPA is on the line.

Sometimes, I worry a lot about medical school. I know it seems really ridiculous, but sometimes I think if I make a B or a C in a freshman general chemistry class, I'll never get into med school and do pubic health... Other times, I just give up on the current semester and say, hey, I'll do better next spring. I feel like this lab is part of my one shot to the rest of my life. Is it??

But life doesn't have just 2 trials. Even in the real lab, you perform hundreds of trials before drawing conclusions. If you fail, just pick yourself up and come back again. It's hard right now to think of things in perspective, especially when the pressure is on to do your best and finish the semester strong. In the end, all you can do is work your hardest, keep your motivation, hold on tight through the exam, and hope for the best.

All I can do now, is hope. And no matter how that practical turned out, I will be okay. Everything will be okay.