This has never happened to me before: I walked through the halls yesterday and was absolutely sick of high school. Going through the crowd, I didn't want anything more than to get out of those cramped, suffocating hallways. It isn't the people here that get me.. of course not. I love the people. It's just the way school is structured.. and how the fact that we are the oldest there makes the whole concept of high school seem immature and old news. I never thought I would reach this point. I never wanted to leave 5th grade, nor was I dying to leave middle school (despite how awful that was), so I figured from past experiences that I would be more nostalgic than excited to graduate from high school. Yet I find myself dying to graduate.
So, as you can imagine, it's been really hard to keep my feet on the ground and focus on school. I guess this all boils down to senioritis. For me, though, it isn't just about not wanting to do the work. The weird thing is sometimes I am super lazy (especially when I get home) but sometimes I am super motivated. I guess the only thing that's keeping me grounded is all of the other stuff that is going on. For example, the leadership team is doing a school wide project to collect school supplies for students in Iraq. And, I'm looking around for original/new projects for NHS. Plus, All State will be here before I know it. There's so much to hold on to, and so much that I will miss. Why am I so eager to leave?
I can't even write anymore. My mind is so scrambled.
2 comments:
Scrambled brains eh? Sounds like a common (and very old) malady =P. I hate waking up everyday, and I find myself wondering why the heck I even bother going to school because I know I won't get anything done there anyway. We take classes we hate, and don't get enough time in the classes we love. It's all part of high school, and we all have those days we hate the place; it's normal, Em. Don't let it get to you.
My advice to you is to just relax a little. Put a little less pressure on yourself about academics, and focus of the subjects that you truly enjoy/want to do well in. Do what you have to, but most importantly, enjoy the rest of the semester. Spend class to just hang out with friends and teachers (I live by this principle =P). Get involved with clubs that you care about (even if they're clubs that people might think are lame like NHS (not saying it is though!)). I'll be right there with you in doing those projects =D. Hang out with friends more often (we really need to!). This is your last year of high school, and there's no point in hating every minute of it.
Hey Love,
Being eager to leave doesn't make you a horrible person. I think all of us feel that way, especially when we're having bad days or even bad weeks (I've been feeling that way since the beginning of this school year!). But don't let it get to you, and it's a good thing that you write about it...talking about things always helps. I'm pretty sure when the time comes, you'll feel nostalgic and sad about leaving. A huge part of us will always be a part of Parkview, and we'll never forget it: all the work we put into the clubs we're a part of, the work you put into band, all the people we might've inspired, all the people who've inspired us, and most of all, all of our friends.
Maybe the right time for when you'll feel nostalgic will be much later, like after graduation. And that's why you have to follow Timmy's advice--chill and worry about what matters! Don't let all the small things upset you. I can't say what he said any better. Then, when you're sad and look back at things, hopefully you'll have no regrets, and that is what matters the most.
love,
Sumi (imus is my ID...my name backwards)
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